I finished all my pre-reqs so I got to see the surgeon. He sent me for one final clearance which I have done. My surgery date will be June 23rd. It's so very real now.
I ordered my supplements even though I won't need them for a while. I also ordered several shakes to try different flavors. 27% protien at Bariatric Advantage. Just sipped an Orange Dream and it wasn't bad. A little "slimy" though.
I've started to think about my weight. How did I get this way? Why did I let this happen. 5 foot 7 and 297 lbs. That was my high. And I've only lost 13 lbs so far. I know it will go much faster after surgery. But I fear if I don't know why it happened, it will just happen again.
I can think of several traumatic events I could blame in my youth. But ya know, I really think it was my first divorce. I was one who had to watch what I ate and stayed around 150 to 160 until my divorce. Then I started to gain that 10 lbs a year thing. And before I knew it... I was very big.
Meanwhile I got married again, had another baby. And the weight just kept coming. I never weighed I just stopped noticing.
Another divorce... And then suddenly, it felt too late to turn back. Like when your house becomes a massive mess and facing the cleaning seems impossible. My "house" was a mess.
I was content to hide in my fortress of fat.
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